Wild, Wild Summer

Every summer is the same. My children, devoid of the structure and responsible supervisory environment of school, run wild. Yes, I am their mom. I could, theoretically, supervise them closely and create a structured environment. But I don't give a shit.

Hey, I do make an effort. I take my kids out to do fun things. I read to them every night (unless it's a Jujitsu night- then someone else has to put them to bed). I manage their swim lessons and library programs and the myriad recreational trips we took. Mostly, though, I try to survive my children, not necessarily worry about things like politeness, or schedules, or... clothes...

WildGirl ran around naked with our dogs in the yard the entirety of June and most of July. If the neighbors minded, they said nothing. None of her school friends ever invite her over (probably because she bites them), so she really bonded with the dogs this summer. We have 3 large, slobbery dogs. One of them, Miguel, is a pit bull who is the sweetest, most tolerant dog I have ever met. WildGirl took to following him around and calling him "my brother". The dogs have accepted her as one of the pack. She barks when they bark. She licks things. She poops in the yard, sometimes. They pretty much think she's a very loud puppy.

(See? Isn't he a nice puppy???)

WildBoy, on the other hand, ran around with his friends. He played on jungle gyms, ran around in the forest, and taught his friends how to throw a spear. At Summerland Spirit Festival, a Pagan festival that we attend in the summer, he saw me learn to throw a spear. He was really bummed that, as an 8 year old, he couldn't throw any spears himself, so I taught him proper spear throwing technique using a pool noodle. He then applied this knowledge to sticks he found in the woods and taught his friends. (There is probably a reason I don't have many "mom" friends...)

(Me, throwing a spear at Summerland.)

(I teach my children to wield sharp weapons with deadly accuracy. What do you mean I'm not invited to your backyard barbecue?)

There has also been a huge development in WildGirl over the summer: she has learned how to poop and pee on the toilet! Yay!

(Words cannot describe how happy I am to NOT have to change poopy diapers everyday.)

Due to WildGirl's autism, I have been trying to potty train her unsuccessfully since she was 2. She is 6 years old now. You do the math. WildBoy is 8. That means I've been changing diapers every day for over 8 fucking years. I'm so sick of it. Not only that, but from the time WildGirl learned to use her hands until a year ago, she has been fascinated with her poop and has done everything from eating it to smearing it on the walls, the doors, and the dogs.

(The dogs don't really mind.)

At one point, I was giving WildGirl a bath twice a day and have to scrub the walls at least once a day. So I am thoroughly sick of cleaning up poop. By now I'm a poop expert.

(Here's my fucking badge.)

It's not WildGirl's fault. We're not sure, but either due to her autism or an unrelated bowel condition, she does not poop correctly. Either she gets constipated or she intentionally holds it in until it leaks out. However, in June, she got put on different laxatives that are easier on her body, so, as long as I'm proactive about making her sit on the toilet until she poops (which she absolutely does not want to do, ever), she will poop only once a day. And once she learned to poop on the toilet, she also figured out that wearing underwear is fun and grown-up, so she was motivated enough to learn to pee on the toilet too. Yay! There have been at least two full days where she has not ONCE had an accident! In the wacky world of autism parenting, we call that a success!

(WOOT!)

Now, there are still days where she refuses to poo, so by all means the struggle is not over, but for once in my life there has been PROGRESS!

There is another reason for me to celebrate: next week, school starts. Words cannot describe how happy I am that, finally, I will be able to get a break from the children. Ever since I quit my job as a security guard, I've been with the kids full time and I sometimes get sick of it. I'm very happy that this is my last week having to deal with two untamable, bored, cabin-feverish children all day.

And, to all the teachers out there that have to put up with my feral children, I salute you!

(Good luck!!!!)