WildGirl Is A Berserker

OK look, I'm a barbarian, but my 5 year old daughter WildGirl (who has autism) is a full fledged berserker and goes into berserker rages So. Many. Times.  I'm frankly exhausted.  She woke me up this morning at 5am and wouldn't stop beating on me the whole morning.  Anyone who's ever been punched, kicked, pushed, elbowed, and fishhooked repeatedly for a whole morning straight can tell you it takes the fun right out of your day.

(Little trickster.)

So today is the open house/conference day for my younger 2, and then school starts on Thursday. 

IT CANNOT GET HERE SOON ENOUGH!!

We already had one conference (in which I warned the teacher repeatedly of WildBoy's barbarian ways) and she laughed and smiled and showed me a new behavior plan in which they emphasize rewarding good behavior.  I smiled and nodded.  "You're screwed," I thought to myself.  We'll see how often I get called about WildBoy's behavior this year.  Last year, he was banned from wearing elastic waisted pants because he kept pulling his pants down in gym.  I'd get a call every week saying he'd hit someone on the bus.

(That about sums it up.)

I won't mind WildGirl's conference today, because all I really have to do is give adequate warning about her berserker ways.  We'll flesh the rest of it out in her IEP meeting tomorrow (which I'm not looking forward to because I have to negotiate. 
Barbarians suck at negotiation. 
I'd much rather swing my axes around but noooooo.)

However, I've dealt with WildGirl's berserker frenzies this entire summer and, miraculously, I handled most things with quite a bit of patience!  Who knew!  I feel like, after dealing with her the past couple days, I should be considered a saint.

(Like this guy)

(Ummm.... leaves something to be desired.  And yes, that is a bed sheet and a Kobudo bo.  It's the symbol of my sainthood.  I'm the patron saint of taking naps and hitting things.)  :P

And, in case that photo wasn't enough blasphemy for the day, here's me as "buddy Jesus".

(Catholicism Wow!)

That's all, folks!  I'm sure I'll get around to offending the rest of the population at a later date.